IWSG: Releasing A Revision

Hi everyone, It’s that time again for the monthly Insecure Writers Support Group, hosted by Alex J. Cavanaugh. The Co-hosts for June are M. Pax, Tracy Jo, Patricia Lynn, Rachna Chhabria, Feather Stone, and Randi Lee.

My Concern This Month is re-editing a thousand pages of text. I’m pretty much taking June off to finish the re-edits for the three books in the Breakthrough series as I prepare to release them as a Box Set. 

Breakthrough was my first book and after re-editing it, in retrospect, it looks like I wrote the original using color crayons. I admit the writing is crude in many places. So I asked my editor to re-edit the first chapter and a few select ones. Due to money constraints, I re-edited the rest. 

Wow! It needed some serious work. And it reads so much better now. But it was my first book, so I’m not going to ding myself for that. 

Example: The books are in the Third Person POV, yet I had so much first person inner dialogue and I used italics for this. Ugh! So I rewrote these parts as speaking dialogue and using humor. 

Before: Staci discerned Bennie’s face and deduced there was dissention in the ranks. Clearly, Tubsy here thinks he should be in charge. 

“That’s great,” he said as he passed in front of Staci and made his way to the coffee pot. “How are we going to do this? Where’s the trade going to take place?” 

Carol snuggled up to Bennie before he could reach the kitchenette. “I’ll make the coffee, you big, loveable, teddy bear.” She squeezed his right buttock. 

Eeewww! Staci wondered what she saw in Bennie. Carol’s beautiful, but Bennie … not so much. He’s not terrible, but she can do so much better. Perhaps she’s not the brightest crayon in the box. Maybe we can exploit her. 

After: Staci discerned Bennie’s face and deduced there was dissention in the ranks. 

“Clearly, Tubsy here thinks he should be in charge.” 

Bennie ignored the comment. “That’s great,” he said as he passed in front of Staci and made his way to the coffee pot. “How are we going to do this? Where’s the trade going to take place?” 

Carol snuggled up to her man before he could reach the kitchenette and squeezed his right buttock. “I’ll make the coffee, you big, loveable, teddy bear.” 

Staci couldn’t resist. “Eeewww! Carol, just what do you see in Bennie. You’re beautiful, but him … not so much. I mean, he’s not terrible. But you can do so much better. Perhaps you’re not the brightest crayon in the box.” 

Carol picked up the gag, wadded it into a ball, and reached for Staci’s mouth. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll shut up. Can’t you take a joke?” 

Before: Staci watched Bennie walk to the front door as if he hadn’t a worry in the world. His duty is to simply oversee a captive tied securely to a solid oak chair and offering no resistance. He thinks I understand my freedom as being dependent upon a clean transfer of captives: Chase first, me second. Simple as that. Yeah, right. We’ll just see about that, chubby chump. 

After: Staci watched Bennie open the door as if he hadn’t a worry in the world. He picked up a neatly folded USA Today that bordered the threshold. Folding it under his right arm, he walked back toward the bathroom. 

Stop By A to Z Blog. Einstein Commands It

She continued the war of words. “Your duty is to simply oversee a captive tied securely to a solid oak chair and offering no resistance. You think I understand my freedom as being dependent upon a clean transfer of captives: Chase first, me second. Simple as that. Yeah, right. We’ll just see about that, chubby chump.” 

Bennie pointed with the newspaper and said, “You be a good girl. I’ll be out in a minute.” 

“A minute,” Staci laughed out loud, staring at his paunchy stomach. “Sure.” 

Finally: I’m posting my Steve’s Science and Other Fun Stuff at the A to Z Blog, as my custom is every first and third Thursday of the month. Take a moment to stop by and enjoy something fascinating about the universe we live in and call home.

  Question: Have you released a second version of your work, or at least considered it?