I don't have a post to share. This time, you tell a joke, pun, laugh, groaner, or a few yuks in the comment section.
C'mon, you have one in you. If you can't think of anything, Google a joke. You're up. Go!
Okay, here's a primer to help get you going ...
OK, here`s one I just received from England.
ReplyDeleteWaiting in a lay by ready to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along the A22 at well under the 30 mile per hour limit.
Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his twos and blues and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seats and three in the back...wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly, twenty-two miles an hour!" .......the old woman says a bit proudly.
The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that A22 is the road number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a sound this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We've just come off the A120."
Oh I'm so not good at telling jokes on the fly. I'm better with puns when they arise naturally. But I'm going to check back. I'm always on the look out for a joke! Love that picture; shared it with my son.
ReplyDeleteHow about I just throw some funny lines at you?
ReplyDeleteShe turned me into a newt! I got better...
I'm an excellent driver. I'm not wearing my underwear...
Cal, I'm in one of these boxes, find me!
You should know a couple of those, Stephen.
Alex, Monty Python for the first and MST 3000" for the third line. I had to Google the Rain Man line, then give myself a "WOW I could have had a V-8" thump on the forehead though as it came back to me.
DeleteI got one from my line manager!
ReplyDeleteMe: I fancy a grilled haloumi sandwich for dinner
Him: It's bad to have haloumi before bed-time
Me: Why?
Him: In case you suffer from halouminations.
LOL!!!!!
Take care
x
I can never remember jokes. All that's coming to me is something comedian Jim Gaffigan said when asked what it was like when his wife had their fourth child - "It's like you're drowning and someone hands you a baby."
ReplyDeleteI can never remember a joke. Will return back to read more jokes.
ReplyDeleteI'm terrible at telling jokes so like others I will return back to read more. I love your new layout, Stephen. The header pic is awesome.
ReplyDeleteInconceivable! (bad Princess Bride imitation) You all know a good joke. C'mon. Let's hear them!
ReplyDeleteThanks for cheering me, had quite a giggle at some of the comments.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.